"All is Forgiven..."

I forgive you for all of the anguish

For all of the devastation

For every time that I needed the truth

And you were faithless

I forgive you for the disappointment

For letting me live a lie

For allowing me to fantasize that I could be your one true

For abandoning me in chaos

And for leaving heartache and misery as my only comfort

I forgive you for all of the torment

For my loss of independence

For all of the disrespect

And carelessness with my emotions

I forgive you for all of the screams that I swallowed

For all of the tears that were shed

For all of the guilt you made me feel

And how my soul has been hollowed

I forgive you for yielding to your temptation of me

For making me feel like a cheap replacement

I must ignore everything that I use to believe

I forgive you...

I forgive myself...

I forgive you because it feels good just to finally let you go.

© 2018

"Peace To You"

Here we are...

The last month of the year

All the moments gathered

Reflected...

Treasured and missed...

With so many days filled to the brim behind us now

Let us pause...

Slow down a little in the coming weeks

With deep remembrance

Come to peace with all things

End this chapter with a new vision looking to the next

We must be greater than what we suffer

This is our point of existence

Close your eyes and breath in the wind of change

Life's natural balance weaves us through the tapestry of time

We bare witness to this every single day

Tough are these feelings and emotions of growth

But bare with it

For this is healing

The root of survival planted...

It may not be graceful or pretty

But its the greatest gift you can give yourself

For peace always starts within

Upon the New Year a new page in life is waiting

Tomorrow and yesterday are the only days we cannot change

So be present...

Embrace the light and let the shadows fall

Find your feet...

Take step one on this new road ahead

To the person you want to be

For hope leads to belief

And conviction found.

Peace to you this holiday season...

Merry Christmas! 

© 2018

 

"Take The Dare"

Moments...

Life...

And all that falls in between

These are the decisions we take and make

A chance...

Luck...

Bravery...

Upon baited breath we wait

To take the dare

Pushing ourselves forward

Reminding ourselves that a leap of faith requires us to jump

Whether nerves or thoughts that falter

Its both feet in

So come what may

You can't fight unless you try

Take the call

Roll up your sleeves

Plant both feet

And greet what comes your way

Time waits for no being

It only leaves us behind

People find themselves here daily

Open your arms freely...

Extend your hands reaching...

Allow your mind to be embraced with belief...

Are you ready?

© 2018

"Life So Changed"

Sometimes we don't know...

The direction to take

Choices and answers are made or explained

There is only so much the mind can bare

Our vision only allows us to view so far ahead

Not all can be seen around each curve of life

Forgive yourself for not knowing...

You did the best with the time given

Unsettling is the feeling taken

When we do not have control of our own heart

Behaviors cause our footsteps to falter

Forgive yourself for doing what needs to be done

And the being you have to be...

Breath...

Be still in this moment

Sometimes this is how we survive

We are all fighting against that thought

Trying to live through the decision made

That when you say, “ I miss you...”

Doesn't mean, “I'm coming back...”

And “I love you...”

Doesn't mean that, “I am going to stay...”

© 2018

"We Are Life"

These are the moments

Actions and choices...

The act of movement of getting up with the sun

And being thankful for the breath taken in

Along with the ones put to rest with the darkness of the night

We are more than these emotions we feel or carry

We are not our past...

Those were experiences learned

Not to be a life sentence carried out

Mistakes do not define us...

We define us

Other definitions of what we deserve should not dictate our well being

Or path in life...

Life is meant to be lived out loud

Not in silence or among the shadows

Because denying your true self is never sound advice

To you be true...

Happiness is a right

Not something that must be earned

Though it does have to be sought out

Found and fought for...

Clear your mind of the confusion

Doubt usually means don't

Embrace the soul

Shine bright your inner being

For we have more worth to us than simply fading into all of the forgotten yesterdays

Take one step...

From where you are now

To where you want to be

That is survival at the root

The core...

The beginning...

Each day...

Each moment...

Here and now...

Remembering always

To go with life.

© 2018

"Take Step One"

You find yourself here

Shattered...

Even more than you have ever been before

The life you knew...

Now a thousand pieces

Words fall short

As you pray here down upon your knees

Let these moments gather in reflection

Even if it begins as a whisper

Tell your heart its OK to beat again

Close your eyes and breath in the wind of change

Yesterday was a closing door

An you no longer live there anymore

Now is the point of existence

You are still strong

Hold yourself together

Don't stop...

This is healing...

It doesn't have to be pretty or graceful

Just keep going...

Upon the horizon there is a new dawn

A day with many moments ahead

Let shadows fall

Embrace the sunlight once again

Find your feet

Take step one...

On this new road

To the person you want to be

For hope leads to belief

And conviction found.

© 2018

"A Days Beginning"

Dawn approaches softly

Smooth and silent the thick blackness begins to separate

The bright glowing stars have now begun to fade

The path leading to the heavens is closed until the next twilight

A mist of fog floats over the waters edge

The smell of the leaves of autumn suffuse my nose

A tiny shred of light breaks

As if out of no where

The earth opens its arms, welcoming the approaching new day

Everything is in slow motion

Its like natures picture show

A symphony for the eyes to behold

Blue hue colours smug through the thick veil of velvet black

Seeping across the sky

Bright colours appear, merge, and mix randomly

Bold streaks now line the horizon

Wisps of cloud are now illuminated

Like a water droplet upon a piece of paper written with ink

The vibrant colours of the rainbow bleed across the canvass of the sky

I listen to the sounds of the ripples of the water lapping against the rocky shore at my feet

With each break there is a memory

And another made anew to be recalled upon on another day

Looking within...

Through the eyes of love...

I think of you...

My long lost...

Because like the night, you have faded from me too

I smile at the fondness remembered

But like every contrasting moment

The former bitterness of a love lost still leaves a residual stain

But I subside my emotions and surrender myself to this moment

Here I am at peace

Treasuring the sublime paltry partial remains

That are just enough to hold me, yet let me move on

Because you are now part of my past

And just like the sunrise before me

This to shall pass.

© 2018

"Parts Of Our Story"

I could feel the colour run...

As it faded from my face

With the blinking of an eye

My view changed

And shadows grew...

Questions became a daily existence

Confused moments added together

Tearing away pieces of my sanity

Heartbeats follow footsteps

The light emerged

Casting its way through the darkness

Life had been put on hold for far too long

Held hostage to what could have been...

The signs came...

Realizations were made

Strength gained was a voice found

Power is now that voice used

And I could not break myself in half

Just to try and save a few parts of you

I am living my truth

Without your blurred vision and lies

You never understood my words spoken

Making my silence fall upon deaf ears

I release myself from staying with you for as long as I did

I was torn between not giving up on the person I loved

And coming to terms with the fact that the person I loved no longer existed...

It pains the heart to tell the mind this

It takes a while to believe

That sometimes we have to give up on people

Not because we don't care anymore...

But because they don't...

Its up to us to find the conviction within

Knowing that its not the end of our life

Its simply the end of their part within our story

Making them now...

The past...

A ghost that never was.

© 2018

"In Memory and Remembrance"

As dawn quietly breaks

The morning unfurls its gray wash over the flat countryside

A light mist seems to drift over the fields

As we come together on this day...

Many of us with dark circles, puffy eyes, and grief stricken hearts

We struggle with one of the worst parts about life

Saying the final goodbye...

Today, we have an official invitation to the dance of life

United we stand as one

And collectively we mourn...

May the boldness in our tears lend us the courage to transcend cynicism and fear

As hard as it is, our vision of the world, now changed

Should not alter...

Let this be the spark to re-light the fire within us all

Our spirit, and that of the ones we love can never be extinguished

In fond memory and deep remembrance we will fan the flame of those who have been lost

Because sometimes, all that we can ever do is try...

Try to make a difference in a world filled with so many differences

To try and change with a world full of so many changes

And to forever remember always

That tomorrow is never promised...

Life unfortunately reminds us of this today...

© 2018

"With This Day"

It starts...

One little thing

The beginning...

A single seed planted

It grows...

Moments gather together

Thoughts play out

The hours of the day already grow long

Strength needed is sourced out and put into play

Building blocks of a wall are constructed

Eyes search for the exit

Scenario by scenario runs through the mind

All upon a continuous loop

Decisions and choices

Between what is right...

And what is easy

Doubt draws near like fog filling in thick

Confusion gives way to sadness

Anger is the by-product of everything left over

These are the moments when thoughts pause

Fight or flight...

You remind yourself that its just a bad few moments or hours

A bad day that needs to be done

It comes down to the ultimate choice

Though I do not surrender completely...

I am more than finished with this day

For it has taken from me...

More than I can give.

© 2018

"Random Thoughts"

Time stands upon a moment

Stop

Pause

Reflect

Release...

Memories realize the true length of a single second

The surge

The push...

A constant forward motion

The heartbeat of life

A collection of emotions

A fire within the soul

Beings filled with light of infinity

Can cast so many shadows

Redefining darkness

We drive ourselves with blind vision

To places we do not wish

Understanding fails

Changing all

Words repeat

Silence speaks volumes

Deafening is the noise that can't be claimed

We are the keeper of this

The one who defines

Nurtures and consoles

We tend to keep more weeds in the garden of life that we do flowers

For our belief in them is skeptical

Based on a lie told to us once some time ago

We are everything that is nothing

Embraced by hope and faith we care

To the lengths of the earth we defend

All that which exists here before us...

Now...

© 2018

"Take Away"

Sometimes we pull ourselves apart...

Ripping ourselves to pieces by the senses

In a desperate hope held

That we...

In some way, shape, or form can cure ourselves of these emotions and feelings

We do so by withdrawing...

Over and over again

To repay a debt we believe we owe

Sometimes we are so eager to kill the pain...

We take away the love and joy

The light from the dark...

Pushing ourselves to the brink

The very edge of bankruptcy

To make ourselves feel nothing

Just so we don't have to feel anything

Is like death while living

Please remember...

Our hearts and bodies are only given to us once

Truth resides amongst freedom

Don't suffocate yourself inside a box that you cannot exist in

Colour outside the lines

Live

You were born to stand out

Let hope lead you to conviction found

Because faith would not be faith...

If you only believed in it when things were good.

© 2018

"With or Without You"

Why do we end up asking questions that we know we shouldn't?

Or already know the answer to?

I guess it is one of those things we can't help avoid

We are only human

Curiosity can be an interesting thing

Sometimes you just want to pick up your feet

One after the other

And run...

Sometimes there are those moments when tears fall

And you are not entirely sure the reason why

Questions and answers...

Are we ever ready to ask or hear either?

Like why do they call is heart break when everything feels broken?

If you have no space in your life for you

Then there is no space for some one or something new
Some sentences end...

All words form a complete decision

Strong and firm you have to be

Knowing that this is the better choice to take

And that no words shall ever fall from your lips after this moment

Because life continues to march on

With...

Or without you.

© 2018

"The Debt of You"

Over hoops and hurdles

Are the words that run through my brain

Traveling in circles

Though dizzy from the motion

Feelings and emotions are clear and sober

I've just managed to distance myself from everything that was us

For far to long my heart rested in your embrace

Footsteps now have lead me away...

I turned the anger into forgiveness

Tears dried...

But all trust has fled

The extended handshake of friendship comes with strings attached

Temptation is a cruel tool used

In an effort to redeem yourself entry into my life

The price you carry is more than I can afford

My ledger is free and clear

I owe you nothing...

Because more times than enough I pulled myself apart

Ripping myself into pieces

Trying to fit my frayed edges into your jagged and torn limitations

Sense screamed at reality

Love is not the cure...

Especially when someone withdrawals over and over gain

It leaves you with nothing

And still...

Here you be, like all the times before

Standing in front of me, asking for more than one can give

You took my to the brink of bankruptcy once...

For what?

To make yourself feel everything and I feel nothing?

This is the lesson I've learned

I am free from the debt of you

I wish you well

But here is where I pass you by upon the path of life

I in my direction and you in yours

I am glad you have found happiness and peace

I am...

But that is as far as I come.

© 2018

"Within The Lines"

I look at you...

And see you

The being hidden deep within

A reflection of parts of me

Reaching out...

Wanting to connect

Emotions and feelings

Some only are known by the senses

While others can't so easily be obscured

Honest moments build and pass

We are more a like than we are different

Brave is your curiosity...

But your actions lack conviction

Silence weighs heavy under the words left unsaid

My every wish for your being is to be free...

From the secrets that you haven't told

Don't push me away...

Then wonder where I went

I am here...

Waiting...

Arms wide open...

Holding out hope...

But I cannot embrace, “Maybe or I don't know...”

So I must surrender to what is...

And what I know now

That until you are ready to receive anything I have to give...

I will continue to hide you within the lines of my poetry.

© 2018

"More Than Waiting"

Through time...

The moments had built between us

Beyond what they appeared to the eye

As well as the heart...

The once steady and firm grip trembled...

My footing was no longer stable

Holding out hope lingered for far too long

Choices and decisions had to be made

The heart can only break for so long

With life and luck

Time moved forward

I grew passed the moments that once held me still

I had to learn to be more than “Waiting for you to be ready”

And wanting you to care as much as I did

With prayers unanswered

And questions lingering

The mind did the only thing that it could do with that much uncertainty...

Let go...

© 2018

"Limited Love"

Life is this

Here and now

And love is worth fighting for

But not if you are the only one fighting for it

Which brings us to this question you ask of me

That after all the years...

The moments spent

Embraced deep

That you are now ready to love

To take a chance

With a hand extended and offered

You are willing to see what may come from venturing beyond the definition of friendship

But uncertainty holds me frozen...

For I know in the eyes of reality

You and I are not seen together

So forgive my lack of commitment

Towards your claim to be ready to love this time now

History reads otherwise...

Its unfair for you to tease me with the possibility of my one true

Then not follow through

Yet here you stand...

Promising everything...

Then nothing...

Which asks too much of me

I guess we both have different ideas of what being together means

Don't love me with your list of limitations

Then call it unconditional

My doubt screams

Hesitation baits my breath

Caution surrounds my heart

I fear I am not brave enough to except the dare

For the challenge of getting over you the first time took me years

It nearly changed the person I have come to be

Making this one of the worst things you have ever done to me...

To give me hope...

All over again...

© 2018

"Trespass Against Me"

With love broken...

The frayed edges catch in my heart

Memories made

Added together...

Built up upon another

Piled high...

And torn apart...

Thoughts race

You are the words of a poem that I just can't seem to write

So I try...

To move on from what was

Relieving myself from my post

A connection that become a job

A duty held strong

Like a soldier marching...

I carried on

All the while you filled me up with emptiness

A consuming hole growing

Days became unending...

A stranger before me my eyes saw

Boundaries blurred

So many lies by you were lived

Denial became existence...

To the point in time when...

You could no longer remember which ones you had sown

As your everything...

The person you held so close

I began to suffer

Starved from the light

Cast behind in your shadow

Left embraced and holding on by the pieces

Began the footsteps on a path there is no returning

You now trespass so far against me...

I no longer recognize any part of myself

I am no longer in control of me

For you have become more than I can possibly contain

Making this the last moment you take from me

And that I give to you...

© 2018

"Best When Lived"

Life is our opportunity

Benefit from the experiences

Some given...

Some taken...

The proverbial balance

And time at its best

Weighed...

Sought after...

Bargained for...

And debated

There is beauty within it to admire

Its a dream believed in

Lived and realized

Its a challenge met

A foe yet to be fought

Either way...

Meet it face to face

Like a dutiful soldier

Stand tall

Promise to fulfill it

Add moments to years

Life is our biggest adventure

We only have this one

Except the dare

With hope and luck we meet the call

Fight for it...

Because life is life after all

Its done best when lived.

© 2018

"Dark Path"

One persons perfect...

Is anothers destruction

A path through darkness...

Is still a path

One we all have to walk from time to time

And though the other side is not seen

Does not mean its not there

You cannot re-write the past

Yesterday and tomorrow are the days you cannot change

Be the author of your life

Turn the page

Let your future unfold

Make best with what you have

For tide and time wait for no being

Because life happens...

Always.

© 2018

"This Is You"

Commit to the release

Just don't simply speak at the truth

The only way to get rid of shadows is to be in darkness

Or step into the light

Do your best to mange the pain

Before it turns into fear

Embrace the realization made

The choice contained within

Deal with the demons that only you can understand

Release the scars of the past

Ones that have been kept under lock and key

Stop living only pieces of your life

Step into the world you want to be

You are the Shepard guiding your soul

Sometimes we look back at where we have been

The memories that stood out

All collected and treasured

Every experience helping define who we are

Growing from who we have been

Reaching to were we want to be

Patience is trust

Grasp a hold of this

For this is your day

All the moments are you

Where anything is possible.

© 2018

"I Loved A Stranger"

Choosing to disregard a persons expressed wishes spoken

Is not considered miscommunication...

Its disrespectful

Making this the most dangerous moment known to the heart

When it says, “Enough is enough...”

Love has changed its definition

Whether the eyes were closed before

Or now that they actually see...

The vision that holds me still

Is the stranger before me

Now asking too much of my understanding

I have reached the end of my comprehension

In every way possible

Compassion...

Time...

Space...

And energy...

You now take more from me than I am willing to give

Step into my shoes

Stand in my place

Walk the line of life you are making me

Would you get as far as I did?

Can you see just how strong I've had to be?

Because one of the worst things you can do to another human being

Is to know the struggles they have been through

And put them through it all over again...

You do not get to destroy someone...

And then decide how ruined they are allowed to feel

Valid reasons used as poor excuses

Are what they are...

Cheap shots thrown in the dark by the blind eye

Now pass through the hollow apologies laid

All like band aids...

None of which fix bullet holes.

© 2018

"Last Reflection"

The realization burns...

That I am suddenly found in one of those moments

There are no chances of the mind forgetting

Or letting it pass by...

Its here and now

One must push through it in order to get to the other side

From one thing to the next

A connection made...

Now lost...

You have taken from me more than I was willing to give

I am withdrawing my support...

And my presence

The caring embrace that once held so tight

Releases the bond

Time is this

Making the many moments passed already lost

For I refuse to be held hostage by your past

Nor will I continue to negotiate with your insecurities

Compromise is great, especially when you have to sacrifice nothing

I am done with the broken parts of you that you try to keep reflecting in me

So perhaps, if you do not listen to my words of reason...

Then maybe you will hear my silence.

© 2018

"Almost Light"

Blind eyes now see

The truth long since forgotten

A bud of survival blooms

Footsteps lead

Away from all that once held you still

A new found world inside a world

Senses eager

Passion makes the heart beat stronger

Belief in conviction

Turn anger into fuel

Accelerating beyond the past

For motivation is the friend best held close

Hands reach to the future now in grasp

Experience awaits

A new page in history

Another chapter in a story of your being

Be that which defines you

Leading you through

Because time is moving forward

So linger here for but a moment

Life is calling.

© 2018

"Dream To Be Real "

With baited breath I have waited...

Patiently and every so often impatiently

For my deepest dream to be real

Its moved me beyond wishing...

Hoping...

And praying...

Moments clung together

Some came close

But never embraced me enough

A watchful eye measured the emotions

Weighing the actions taken... or not

Time built precious treasures kept

Doubt would steal pieces away

Quietly through the night

Love remained believing

Hope and trust never seemed to be enough

Like a light in the dark shinning

A beacon calling out

Leading us through to this moment being held still

I found myself there...

Then made my peace to allow my footsteps to move forward

Away from your lack of conviction

Days set into weeks

Months changed to seasons spent

Now, life brings you here...

Standing in front of me with arms wide open

Saying this all can be

Every piece of what I dreamed can be

I to give all of me to you...

But I to only receive half of you...

Leaving us one of the same

Yet separate...

Together...

Alone..

© 2018

"A Call To Be Made"

A line has been drawn

And that is where you have reached

The only way to get rid of shadows is to be in darkness...

Or step into the light

Be the truth you see in your eyes

Stand tall...

Even if you have to stand alone

Because poor choices made by others

Is not your fault to bare

We cannot just speak at the truth

Commit to the release

Fill yourself up with more than emptiness

Patience is trust...

But when boundaries are broken

And limitations have been reached

Choices and decisions call

There is no benefit to be made

By losing your mind...

While waiting for someone to make up theirs...

Because if they have trespassed against you

To the point where you no longer recognize yourself

And you are no longer in control...

Then they have already become more than what you can contain.

© 2018

"Your Own Words"

I can paint you a vibrant picture

That you cannot see

Not unless you actually and truly listen with your whole being

I can tell you a sweet little tender story

Or one of sadness, deception, or depression

The list can be endless

Minutes, moments, or forever

I can weave a tapestry without a single thread

And create you a portrait without a single drop of paint

Words can reach you anywhere

Through the darkness they can bring forth light

Quietly, subtly, or all at once

It will help your search through the mist of doubt

Fight or flight...

Compromise or surrender, though not complete

Words can carry you if you let them

Until you find yourself far removed from everywhere

In a world created through yourself

Words through actions give you the power to rise above your troubles

To seek out the solace you may be needing

So make the choice to be everything and more than simple silence

Do not let the shades of gray define you

Paint the picture that you can see in your heart

The one you know exists in your being

Tell your story the way you can hear and feel it in your soul

And listen to your own words until you understand.

© 2018

"We Are Us"

We are these moments

Our daily life of choices...

Decisions made

The forgotten...

And the honored ones embraced close to the heart

Senses lead...

Some follow the mind

Others follow the heart

Where ever our footsteps lead

Plant them well

Anchor yourself there

A solid foundation made

The secret is in the knowing

That happiness is what it means to you

Not what others think you need or deserve

We are not others beliefs or convictions

We are own our humanity

The care taker of our soul

The light burning within...

Cherished or reckless

We are us

Free...

To be or not to be us

Eternally.

© 2018

"For The Damaged"

With heart breaking clarity it is seen

The unfortunate thing about pain

It cannot be reasoned with or avoided

It demands to be felt

The truth bares all

The consequences come from broken trust

Now led astray...

Actions taken speak louder than intentions thought

The astounding realization hits

Washing over the body

From the eyes...

Now bleed the feelings so painfully etched within the very fabric of a human being

Memories burn

Like angry torches lit

Abandoned in high wind

Frayed edges lead

The spark of destruction

Ashes fill the empty spaces where love once cared

Darkness creeps through

Like shadows in the night

Laying claim to the light

Senses are over run

Prayers are spent upon absolution

Because time is now felts by the heart beat of life

Making all moments linger beyond understanding

Till every second hits with reality calling...

Screaming out a name...

© 2018

"Lessons In Allowance"

My heart stumbles

Thoughts circle the drain

Holes break through my memories

Ones shaped like you...

I want a future

And to achieve that I cannot keep looking back at the past

I am found...

I am on a path your are not brave enough to walk with me

Because you continue to reside in a place where I can no longer stay

I need to stop fighting so passionately for someone who is okay with losing me...

Becasue you will never truly understand the damage done

Not until some one does the same thing to you

As the final residue of you echoes though my tears

Foots steps move me forward

To this moment now

This is the hardest part

The realization made

Good hidden within the bad

The very definition of yin and yang

Making this one of the biggest lessons learned

That the allowance given to you...

The slack in my resolve and conviction...

Now becomes the rope you put around my neck...

© 2018

"Shadow Of A Doubt"

Some moments now take from me more than I can give

They have grown passed my limit of comprehension

Breaking my understanding...

Thoughts collide

Hands hold out out for hope

I am this...

All consumed

Every second and every emotion

From where I stood

To where I have come to rest up my knees

Waiting...

Almost begging for a resolve

An abandoned smile dares not let the words fall across my lips

Crossing that line to deeper darkness

Memories burn like fire

Just an echo of a heart beat

Because the eyes work best when used for looking...

And words carry more meaning when spoken...

© 2018

"A Different Meaning"

This time around things were suppose to be different

This time around everything was suppose to change

With time and great patience

We grew...

Holding onto one another strong and true

Moments gathered

Memories were made

Sparking a happiness beyond any earthly measure

With a promise

A deep loyalty bound us

Connected by truth and honesty

Our hearts fell...

Passion played out

Until it all ended upon a single second without just cause

Devastation now sweeps through

Making our former truth fray

Loyalty now has failed

And our connection has crumbled

These are the seconds now

Living moment to moment

With the heavy realization made

That even ordinary happy days can change in an instant

Forcing them to take on a completely new meaning.

© 2018

"Book Cover"

The cold breeze of cruelty blows swiftly

A target is painted upon the skin

Tears weep like rain

Gentle whispers of disgrace seep from smiling lips

The light is stolen...

People speak darkness

Actions taken devour words not spoken

Shadows cast tear at your soul

Imagination to flee runs wild no more

Freedom is bottled up in a cage

Locked within all of the rage

Labeled and misplaced

Because the contents of this book

Has been deemed unworthy

After being judged by a simple glance of the cover

Reduced to nothing worth a second look

So how can this be guaranteed with such conviction?

When they don't even know whats kept within...

© 2018